After 9 months and two weeks I can say that a lot has changed since I became a mother of three children. The first two months were alright but as things went on I found myself getting overwhelmed, spread thin and lacking in both alone time and space, and also in getting opportunity to creatively express myself.
The more kids that you have, the more you learn about yourself. I didn’t realize that I had needed creative outlet so badly because I always managed to have one, but now I know that it’s very important for my sanity. As an extrovert, making time to be alone was never apparent. Even as extroverted as I am, having little people on me or needing me 24/7 has shown me that I do value and need time completely by myself. Mostly, just for clarity of thought without distractions.
As spring progressed, I found cultured foods helped my darker feelings, and then the warm weather hit and I was able to garden (my personal favorite creative outlet) which improved things even more.
Ida learned to crawl and Eli started an iron supplement to help his sleep issues.
Before I knew it, despite some situational trials and very little sleep, I was feeling pretty normal and used to having three kids. I mean, they even all play independently together.
I’m not saying there aren’t super hard days and times when I’m nursing Ida back to sleep at night and right as she doses off in my arms Eli cries super loud and wakes her and he’s awake and she’s awake and there’s only one of me and I’m trying to wrangle them both in the pitch black dark of night and suddenly Avery needs to pee but is too sleepy to wake up all the way and get down from the bunk bed and is sitting, wriggling with his eyes closed. You know I have to get him to the bathroom quick and then comfort Eli back to sleep and then run into Ida’s room to start nursing her again til she calms down and falls asleep again.
But in general, I’ve got the logistics of taking three kids places, dealing with the destruction zone that is my home, always, and making sure they’re fed three tons of food per day.
So basically I got this. I’m no longer freaking out all the time. I’m no longer 100% overwhelmed all.the.time. Now, this might all change in a couple weeks when Eli starts preschool and I have to get everybody up to get out the door.
Until then, I will pretend I have a grip.