State of Mind

I just started a yoga routine when I decided that I wasn’t in the right state of mind to do yoga right now. Maybe it’s because my brain is still running along the to do list for the day or perhaps because I haven’t fully allowed my environment to be quite peaceful enough to really focus on it.

At first I thought I’d just finish cleaning the house. I’ve been on a cleaning/organizing rampage this morning because over the weekend we moved the crib into the loft and therefore had to rearrange both rooms. But then I realized it wasn’t really the house that needed cleaning, rather my brain did!

I know I haven’t posted in a few days and that is strictly because they have been a real struggle for me. Coping with sleeplessness deserves a dedicated support group with therapy sessions as far as I’m concerned and they don’t really have those since everyone struggling with sleeplessness is too tired to start one.

Anyway, since I last posted on sleep, well, I haven’t gotten any so here I am, as usual, rambling about things in a nonsensical way.

Our more dramatic attempt to improve the sleep situation was to finally deal with the difficulties of moving the crib up to a room above our living room (to avoid messing with Avery’s sleep and keep Avery from diving into the crib on top of sleeping Eli). It’s the only room separated from the main floor but here’s the catch…..it’s open to the house. There’s no door separating it and therefore moving Eli up there would mean we’d have to be pretty quiet after bedtime, limit social gatherings, take apart our massive crib and put it back together, buy a noise machine, buy another monitor, and see what happened. The first night we had high hopes. We moved the crib (note, extremely frustrating and hard, end note), we bought a noise machine, we decided on a quieter passtime for the evening and pressed go. First major fail was the noise machine…..broken. Second major fail……well, no sleep and also my failure to set up some sort of comfortable space for myself to pass the time during cry sessions.

Three successes came out of the first night though. Shane figured out how to rig my old phone with a broken screen into a perfectly functional noise machine and saved us $30. Secondly, Avery got a full night of sleep and wasn’t a complete melt down machine the next day (score!). Thirdly, going up and down a pair of scary spiral stairs a bajillion times a night might give me an alternative work out.

The next night we altered some things. I set up a more comfortable place for myself up there (note, not nearly as comfy as my bed but at least warm, end note) , I managed to rig a fairly okay light since he normally sleeps with one but it’s such a tiny room the normal methods were entirely too bright, and we got him his own monitor. The fail? Well, no sleep. Also, Avery had an extremely weird night of sleep we’re attributing to current growth spurt that involved a few random wake ups (one involving him coming out of his room and going upstairs while I was up there (notttt cooool)) and a 5:30am desperate plea to go poop (I obliged). Then we were all up at the lovely hour of 5:30 for good. ouch.

I actually wasn’t coming on here to post about sleep at all, so, word vomit. Sorry.

What I really wanted to post about was food.

At least I get to eat yummy stuff.

Not to mention a date night with Shane (much needed and greatly appreciated), dinner at the in-laws (delicious, as always), pizza and wine Shane supplied last night as well as this.

Which I ate with, as you can see, a homemade graham cracker…aka crack.

Despite all the emotional wreckage that is me, I am trying not to lose sight of the fact that we’re all healthy, my boys are cute (and awesome), my husband is hott (and amazing) and I am well fed (by potentially too much emotional eating).